Dr.Ruthless: Methods & Philosophy

Fear Into Fire!

So you want to be 'kick ass.' Great! But first, take a moment and imagine YOU are under attack, that your words and best efforts at peaceful persuasions have failed, that escape is not an immediate option. That terror has seized your heart with such a mighty force that you can barely stand. Think. Breathe.

Not pretty I know, but it happens- and not just to women but to strapping men. Now ditch that image. Prepare to re-imagine....

But understand this: Self Defense is an inside-out job. Before branding ourselves "Toughees" we need to look inward and dig down. Here's a critical question: "Where will YOU go inside yourself amidst the chaos and shock to mobilize focus, power, presence of mind, and to release your fear and call up courage with the whole of your heart?

How will you COLLECT YOURSELF (critical!) and command wild emotions to rally in formation, your subatomic self forging an iron will. And do this in a heartbeat, mere ticks of the clock because seconds count.

The answer: There IS such a place and a way to rapidly mobilize. It's a place I simply call "Fierce." It's already networked into our loins and limbs, our brains and our souls. But it needs to be awakened, aroused, nurtured and instructed --then kept ON like a readied pilot light's flame. Because in the Moment of Truth all systems must be GO!

Below are my essential components and means to clearing the path, reinstalling your power, deflating your fear, and finding that sweet spot where fear morphs into winning ferocity. It's a Womanly thing. Read on...

The Way Forward is Back: A Return To The Primal Heart of Self Defense

Take a good look at the prehistoric woman on the side bar. Put yourself in her skin. Feel her stance, the way she's settled down into her LOWER body-- her hips, legs and Base of Power. Look at the fierce determination and set of her face; her absolute readiness to do what it takes to protect her young. Defend herself.

If any of this feels even vaguely familiar or stirs something deep ... that's a great start! Because she is you, or rather an ancestral part of you. This capacity for competent, aggressive self defense is innate. Womanly. As old as the womb and the brain itself. Born in the fires of love, fury and primal survival instincts.

Yet for many women, this muscle and might has been lost to modern life, buried beneath fear and socialization, hidden under the cammo of our Cover Girl veneer, the digital beeps that swarm our world usurping our senses.

It's a dangerous disconnect.

To be safe and self-possessed, this WILL and SKILL needs to be restored to maximum capacity and fired back into our bodies and souls. It's a power and ferocity that must be realized from the inside out, a knowing to be kept aglow in our hearts, on at all times.

Remembering and returning to this primordial source, plugging back into what we once knew and possessed in full is central to my message and methods. It's key to unlocking the power of Fierce.  

Once you realize that YOU TOO could be a dangerous creature—and not just feel like the endangered one—the journey to becoming female-warrior ready is a matter of proper instruction and clearing the path. Here's what you'll need, and need to do, to get your mojo primed, pumped, and back online:

1) Get Your Moves On!

Typically, attacks against women happen at very close range. Phone booth range. Hot breath on your face range. Tight quarters call for explosive, instinctive skills. Here are the basics of what you'll need:

  • Practical Moves that rip from our lower center of gravity and base of power—our hips, legs and core.
  • Uncomplicated, gross motor skills. A small but efficient and reliable arsenal of techniques that can be used from standing, sitting and lying down (rape specific) positions and that range in application from low-level to life threatening attacks.
  • The ability to effectively utilize weapons of opportunity  (anything we can get our hands on) and at the very least basic knowledge and familiarity with conventional weapons.
  • The ability to exploit and use your physical surroundings to your advantage—from places to hide, to hard and pointy things to crash an attacker onto.
  • Breathing techniques that enable and maximize focus and control.
  • Guts and a cultivated "spirit of entering." The skill and will to enter and engage, to blast IN and through fear, and not recoil or retreat when attack is imminent.  
  • Killer Instinct. Leveraging killer instinct (think, lioness) not only helps us fuel a fight (or flight) but it can help us KILL our very own fear when nothing else will do and the only way out is THROUGH.      

2) Harness the Power of E-motions

Emotions are a vital source of power for women. By tapping into and pulling strength from emotions, we can boost our physical defenses and super-size our fighting heart. When combined with the charge of adrenaline, this energy—be it terror, fury, or our craving for life—can transform petite women into formidable fighters. But to make emotions work in your defense, here's what YOU need to get a handle on:

  • Appreciate the power and double agency of fear. Fear can be savior and saboteur; it can enfeeble AND empower. What this depends on is... YOU!  Learn to interpret fear's signals as your trigger to act, to mobilize action-- NOT inaction. This is its prime purpose: to rally your defenses-- it's an agent of survival.   
  • Fear's other job is to release a potent adrenaline-fueled cocktail into your bloodstream, prepping your body for flight (escape) or fight (battle), gifting you with incredible strength and speed that you can then capitalize on.
  • Know this: adrenaline produces shakes, dry mouth, rapid heart rate, tunnel vision, loss of fine / complex motor control, possible loss of bowels—but hey, who cares? —and loss of cognitive abilities. Precisely why you should stick to gross motor skills. With this cocktail pumping through your veins, pain becomes meaningless, at least secondary. Anticoagulants will slow down bleeding, helping you fight your way to safety. Good stuff!
  • Find the stable center-of-gravity within your emotion and attach to that. Let it empower you and your fight. But don't let it overwhelm you or devolve into panic. The secret? Collect yourself. Focus. Breathe!
  • Self defense is elemental. It calls for Fire & Ice. If pinned or you cannot immediately move, stay COOL on the surface - don't telegraph intent!--gathering your charge below until it's time to unleash and counter ATTACK. 
  • When it's time to unleash... Ready. Aim. Fire! Explode like a bullet straight into your target. Not like a firecracker dispersing energy in all directions at once.
  • Turn Your Fear Into Fire! Once fear has ushered into motion the neurological changes that prep us for action, the fear must burn away into the flame of another more appropriate emotion: PRIMAL RAGE. Focus and aim this into the HEART of your attacker. If it is to escape, blast through him to safety. If we must counter attack, this fury is the unsuspected wolverine at his throat.
  • Do not let the power of your emotion get ahead of your technique. E-motion and technique must work together as ONE.

3) Clear Your Head & Your Heart

To be the baddest you can be, shed excess baggage from your psyche. To stay focused on the EXTERNAL threat, free yourself from internal obstacles, doubts, inhibitions or conflicts that could bog you down, split your attention or cause immobilzation when all systems must be "Go!" (It's like plumbing: to go full blast, or ANY blast, the pipes need to be clear.) Here are common encumbrances that MUST be overcome, attended to, or flushed out of your mind.

  • KO your inner muggers! Vanquish the voices of doubt/ can't/ shouldn't that could spring from your psyche and ambush you in The Moment of Truth causing you to vacillate or freeze when seconds count.
  • Reconcile spiritual and moral conflict around the use of aggressive force. Clear your conscience. Otherwise this division of heart and mind will stifle your fighting spirit or create a state of "cognitive dissonance" impeding your ability to go full-blast, be whole-hearted or possibly SURVIVE!
  • New motto: Harmony... or Else! Hey, I don't even kill creepy spiders; I escort them out of the house, prayerfully cupped in hand. I abhor violence. Yet we MUST embrace the totality of our prismatic female nature, our myriad potentials—from high and mighty to down and dirty. Hold these words dear: "Nothing human is foreign to me."
  • Cultural "nice lady"conditioning is exploited by criminals, predators and abusers. Undo it! The more you're beholden to traditional behaviors of femininity—or New Age views of the "all nurturing, do-no-harming" feminine principle—the more at risk you become. Inquire within and reject all limitations.
  • Internalized beliefs and myths can become realities, so purge myths of incompetence / fragility / non-aggression from your psyche. Be realistic about your abilities, YES, but throw out the trash!
  • Renegotiate with fear: OVERCOME THE FEAR OF INJURY! 
  • If you suffer traumatic stress from past assaults or events, make it a priority to attend to, integrate, and resolve this. Free-floating anxiety, emotional "triggers" and demons from the past  embedded in the psyche can effect behavior and responses to danger in the present. 

4) Cultivate the Female Warrior Mindset

Look again at our prehistoric woman. It's unmistakable: her mind is set, her will is committed-- so much so that this FEROCITY dissolves all trace of fear and hesitation. In her mind, the engagement has already begun. YOU too must be prepared to engage the warrior spirit, the willingness to do what it takes. Here's a closer look at what this entails:

  • This mindset is more than "mind." It's a total state of being, a radical shift in consciousness. In effect YOU become the predator not prey. It's the ultimate Reversal.
  • Battle ready is a state-of-being centered in the present. In the context of self defense, it all happens NOW! Now is often the only time that matters. Be there!
  • Being fearless implies a lessening, a minus. Being fearsome involves adding something in. Embrace fearsome. Cultivate its shocking potential.
  • Here's the deal: Nobody is ready for a wolverine slapped onto their mug! Learn to seize the moment. Take charge—literally. Step up or sit UP and bring it!
  • Battles are often won in the will. Decide in advance where you draw the line. What is worth fighting for? What is non-negotiable? What do YOU hold sacred? Once you decide where the line is drawn, ferocity to protect naturally arises.  
  • Pacifism can only be a truly meaningful choice if born of strength not fear or wishful thinking and you are willing to do what may be unthinkable - including the loss or taking of life. There is no escaping the reality that purposeful violence is sometimes necessary. Reconcile this NOW. 
  • Instead of shunning aggression learn to view it as a resource.    
  • Remember—this isn't new. It's ancient. Old. Some part of you already nows how to do this! Find it. Respect it. Learn to bring it to bear.