This headline infuriated me as many do:
Thinking about the 18 year-old young woman he raped sent a sharp pain into my heart. I know all too well the trauma that rape and sexual violence leaves in its wake. How these moments can unravel into months and even years of suffering.
So I decided to share a fairly simple and wickedly surprising means of striking back in an oral rape, which is common in sexual violence- and more precisely how to NAIL this mofo. (It’s a question I’ve been asked often.) First let me say there isn’t just one way– self defense is never a cookie-cutter or one size fits all. No one technique will always work. In this case where the rapist is wielding a hammer threatening to beat women who don’t “get him off” there’s a few options in terms of fight-back-to-escape strategies. It’s never (rarely) easy, but victory is never cheap. (And no I’m not talking about biting his dick; dicey at best.)
With training you can learn how to wrap and trap his weapon-wielding arm then instantly move in to attack his face/ head or possibly throat or eyes while bringing your best in-fighting tools to bear. For example: elbows, palms, hammerfists or smashing or punching hand strikes. Or you could capture his arm and drive rapid knee strikes into his nether regions or deliver whomping kicks aimed at disabling his mobility (lower limb destruction). Then you could slam him down and escape seizing the hammer on your way out. Ta-dah!
For added panache, let’s imagine flashing him your best Thelma & Louise look of disgust, before casting your eyes his way one last time (so you can give details to the cops) fixing your gaze on his now shriveling manhood while muttering aloud:
Before we get going you must PROMISE me that you would ONLY do this if and when you have the MORAL AUTHORITY to do so and are under attack. It’s not a technique to use on your ex or current (boyfriend/ hubby) cause you can’t stand him no more. OK?
(1) Note exactly where that hammer is – which he’ll soon forget about – then slowly PROCEED to your knees, assume the position he expects and encourage him to step real close so you can give it good. But first, try to negotiate placement: try to persuade him to stand where there is open space behind him and maybe some hard head-banging surface- you’ll see why in a minute.
(2) Next, help him undress. That’s right: If he hasn’t already, help him undo his stinking pants so that he suspects NADA and so that he gets used to seeing your hands near and on his body– you’ll see why in a minute. Encourage him to lower his pants down to his mid-thigh at least so that his legs are effectively trapped in his pants like a sac. If he resists, tell him in your best lying voice, “I need lots of room to work my special mojo on you.” Once he hears that he’ll likely oblige. In effect you are NOW leading his head- as in his mind, his big head, so to speak.
(3) Most Important part! From on your knees, act as if to oblige then as soon as his mind starts to float (see yellow above) take your two hands, grab his ankles – make this VERY VERY SNAPPY — and YANK his legs toward you from the back of his ankles, yanking hard and fast. I said “YANK” as in one forceful TAKING move. Do not just pull. I repeat: do NOT pull – that will NOT do. This move is your ticket to freedom.
Call the cops and don’t forget to tell them how YOU feared for your life and what he threatened you with.
(5) It’s time: Spit! Let the full emotion out. Expect to feel charged with emotion, expect to shake, to feel terror and / or rage.
(6) You did it! You saved yourself from that trauma of being sexually violated. Of course there will be residual feelings or fear from this terrifying event but you WILL deal with that with help and loving support.