Tag Archives: prevention

Five Fierce Rules For Fight-Back Self Defense

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Let’s Call it What It Is– EMERGENCY Last Resort Self Defense 

By last resort, I mean that risk reduction, assault deterring, boundary setting and repelling strategies naturally come first. Now log this tip: To greatly reduce your risks, you must deny two things: PRIVACY & CONTROL.

Translation? As much as realistically possible, don’t allow yourself to become isolated with a would-be attacker/ victimizer/ criminal or predator. (TRUST YOUR GUT HERE!) And do not allow “them” to control your behavior- in other words to lead you where you do NOT want to go or otherwise manipulate your movements against your will.

Remember: Do NOT allow a criminal or would-be rapist to force you into a vehicle or otherwise move your from crime scene A to crime scene B. It will always be to a far more isolated location where it will be more difficult to attract attention or breakaway. This includes NOT allowing an assailant or thug to forcibly move you from the visible jogging trail seen by passing motorists and others into the more desolate woods. Or from the parking lot and front of the building to the remote back of the building. This all constitutes forcible movement from one place to another.

So you may have to go physical with whatever skills you have in order to free yourself.

Even with the best of risk reduction and prevention strategies, it happens – so here’s FIVE basic rules if you must fight back. 

1) Explode and penetrate into your target, do not just give a smack. Explode like a bullet directly into your target, not like a firecracker dispersing energy in all directions at once. 

(2) Technique AND fighting spirit count, so tap and funnel raw animal ferocity.

(3) Focus. Focus. Focus. FORCE it if you must but do not allow your mind to splinter, waver or freeze. Breathing helps!

(4) YELL! It oxygenates the tissues, rallies the fighting spirit and can add as much as 33 % more power to your moves.

(5) OWN you world and use your environment. From utilizing walls and counter-tops to shove off of or slam (him) into, to using blunt and pointy objects as weapons, to wielding trash cans and furniture as shields and barriers. My motto? “WHADDYA GOT?”

When it’s GO TIME, get fierce!  And get cracking!

MORE MINDFULNESS PLEASE!!!

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TWO BEEFS  (Come now. Does Momma look like she’s joking?)

(1) Those in WSD need to stop wielding this awful phrase as your promo: “Don’t be a victim!” Or worse: “Choose NOT to be a victim!”

Let’s be clear: YES to sensible risk reduction, heightened awareness, early recognition of danger and behavioral clues, good body language and intuitive faculties turned on. Now this: NO woman chooses to be a victim or to be attacked. Women can “do everything right” (and be Black Belts and kick-ass power feminists) and still be be violated or raped. And not at fault.

(2) Ditch last century verbiage: Some in Women’s Self Defense still promote that self defense is all about knowing “YOU’RE WORTH FIGHTING FOR!” 

Really? You don’t say!

As one who is steeped in SD and as a former psychotherapist, while I appreciate where this is coming from, I find this comment insulting; the insinuation is that most women DON’T think they’re worth fighting for. I disagree. To me this smacks of a victim mentality pinned onto and often attributed to women.

Sure. It may in fact be relevant for women struggling with DEEP self esteem issues or domestic abuse whereby they’ve internalized the doubts of their abusers and diminishing self perceptions. But most women today KNOW they’re worth fighting for and WANT to protect their bodily sovereignty. They need to learn HOW and how to overcome fear and other inhibitions.

Let’s MOVE the conversation forward- not backward!

That’s Me with INVESTIGATIVE DISCOVERY TV producer CHRIS. I was recently interviewed for a forthcoming (late June or early July) episode for a new show on “Dates From Hell.” (Seriously.  These are remarkable real life stories of women’s resolve, smarts, fighting hearts and fight back powers. The episode I was called in for is the amazing Keri Potts, who heroically, daringly escaped from a rapist who’d locked her in his studio apt. in Rome. A predator not only intent on brutal rape but possible a killer….. Stay tuned and I’ll share more.