The Power of Language.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Perhaps because I’ve taken some flak from folks about my choice of words like “killer instinct” – Can’t you just call it survival instinct? — and my language around clobbering skills and other colorful phrases like WHY we need to learn how to “BUST SHIT UP.”
The reason I choose not to make it more palatable, or to speak of this more kindly once we’ve entered the realm of Fight For Your Life—is because it IS fucking harsh. And because language is powerful. I want phrases describing what IT takes and what TO do if you must explode into a target / close on an enemy / ATTACK the head / bash and pound … sink into your consciousness. To become “second language” not just second nature. Because one day this unvarnished talk, it’s dirty imperatives could save your life.
I encourage women to adopt the language of combat for this purpose. Because it keeps it real and removes the taboo. Attributing nice, lady-like language to the learning of something that is intrinsically DOWN and DIRTY–that spirals us into the basement of our BEING–is not only supercilious but downright dangerous. There is nothing polite about being attacked or counterattacking.
So I don’t worry about offending: What would be more offensive than BEING ATTACKED?
It isn’t just the doing and owning of female force that is liberating, but the language of combat itself is freeing.
Yet many women remain overly concerned with not hurting or offending others and habitually frame their expressions and communications in “nice” ways, fearful of how they may be perceived. In the context of self defense (and female vulnerability) this manifests as -“I didn’t want to hurt his feelings or appear like a bitch so I said OK…” – when perhaps that same woman might have been better off being impolite/ DIS-agreeable/ DIS- obedient or forcefully conveying “NO. FUCKING. WAY.”
They are famous words: I didn’t want to be impolite so I (fill in the blank). Tragically they are sometimes famous LAST WORDS.
Self defense means giving YOURSELF permission to do what might otherwise BE unthinkable. This also means giving yourself permission to say it straight, to speak your mind. And when it comes to fighting back, to proclaim language that might otherwise be repugnant.
Which spirals me back to the point of my blog: Ladies, it’s time to get F’ed! <
F. As in Fierce. As in Fight. As in Fearsome. And sometimes, in the most dire of straits, you just might need to– how shall I say?– “Fuck Someone Up.”
Repeat after me… WORD.